Style Nine
The Peacemaker
Nines' anger differs dramatically from the anger of an Eight. They turn their anger inward and tamp it down. Nines delete their own agenda to be a peacemaker. When they are healthy, they are serene, peaceful, gently assertive, great group leaders and solid friends. Nines have no hard edges and are often extremely popular - and fun to tease because they are so easy-going. They assert themselves without ruffling anyone's feathers and are often able to get everyone to work together.
But if they become unhealthy, their inner self goes to sleep. They put themselves to sleep with food, sex, drugs or television. They can easily become couch potatoes. They develop an inner grief at an unlived life because they merge with someone else's agenda and don't assert themselves.
Nines you may know: Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, Cal Ripkin, Gloria Steinem, Dan Quayle, Loni Anderson, Yogi Berra, Sandra Bullock, Kevin Costner, the Dalai Lama.
Recognizing Style Nine
- They may appear to be without any hard edges and still be angry.
- They may drift off in conversation - in a nice way, of course.
- They may not know how to get on with their lives.
- They may have a tough time making decisions.
- They may merge with any group/idea/cause they contact.
- They may have lots of time and no energy.
- They may have lots of energy for the wrong things.
- They may seek comfort through accommodation.
- They may try to hand over their life to you.
- They may go unconscious through repetitive behavior.
How You Can Help
- Ask for priorities.
- Point out their wandering attention.
- Keep asking, "Why are you doing this?"
- Keep equality clear.
- Note black/white judgments. They are made mindlessly.
- Help them distinguish thoughts from feelings.
- You may at times have to make them uncomfortable.
- Notice when high energy is a way of staying asleep. It's a diversion.
- Support them when they discover they don't know what they want.
- Give them structure for prayer and reflection.