Comfortable. If you are good friends with a style Nine, you probably will have a very comfortable relationship. Nines can be really good listeners and they do something (in the responses I get from my questions) called “creating a safe space.” Their low-key humility allows you to be fully yourself without being judged.
If you need a knight in shining armor, you want an Eight. Eights are fiercely loyal to those on their team or in their circle. Their friendship can easily extend to helping you in difficulty and staying with you in hard times. Eights have high energy and will spend it for you as much as you need.
Sevens make good best friends, and not only for their entertainment value. Their energy and optimism can be
contagious and they look on the bright side – including the way they look at you. They notice what is right and possible and can bring out your best qualities.
One of the best reasons to have a style six as your best friend is that the high side of style six is loyalty. Not only will they remain loyal through thick and thin, they are so relationship conscious they will probably remember your birthday (even without Facebook). Sixes will spend time and energy keeping your friendship vital.
Full disclosure: when I suspect a client is a Six, I ask if they know the birthdays of everyone in their immediate family. Sixes almost always know all of them.
What’s nice about having a style Five for your best friend is that they are sort of low maintenance. After they have enough privacy, they are low-key company, often are entertaining with information and are slow to take offense if you commit a social fault. They pride themselves on not emotionally over-reacting, so they are quite content to talk things over.
One reason many people find Fours to be a good BFF is that Fours are habitually looking for deep connection. They often scorn little chit-chat and prefer deep conversations. If you have a style Four for your friend, you are apt to find them never boring, always up for meaningful conversation. Their emotional richness also makes a healthy relationship fresh and vital.
On another topic: since I started writing about the high side of styles, I’ve had more negative comments than ever before, including some unsubscribes. What should we make of that?
I’ve gotten some flack on my blog about twos.
I had a narrow focus: what about a style that makes them a good friend. I had previously given a seminar and the people came with the notion that the Enneagram was too negative.
Sooo, I am describing only the high side of a style and trying to show how the high side of any given style makes them a good candidate to be a best friend (BFF in socialmediatalk).
Style Threes make great BFFs especially if you are working with them. Threes take their work so seriously that if you are in their department you can count on them to really perform. You get to share in their achievements. I’ve also found high level
Threes eager to help you in your career. You’ll be lucky if you have a Three mentor. They know how to succeed, they model it for you and they teach excellence well.
Style 2 is a perfect best friend forever. To start with, because of their focus on people, they are often socially skilled. They won’t embarrass you. But besides that, it is wonderful to have a friend who thinks more about you that she does herself! Twos live in an interpersonal world – their inner reality can be described by whom they relate to. So when you have a Two as your BFF, you are assured of being in his thoughts frequently. With a Two BFF you are never alone.
Every Enneagram style has some characteristics of their high side that make them candidates for being your best friend–BFF in social media talk.
Style One makes a strong best friend because they are stable and reliable. If they say they will come, they will. You don’t have to worry about them lying, you know where you stand. Unless they are religious fundamentalists they are grounded and sober –they won’t flake out or embarrass you. They often have high ideals and can be really inspiring.