A Sunday suggestion

Contemporary psychology is usually not “directive.” Counselors ask a lot of questions but usually are trained to not tell the client what to do. The underlying assumption is that insight and the unearthing of emotions will lead to behavior change.
An older tradition, the spiritual ones, especially Jews, Muslims and Catholics use an opposite approach. A student goes to a Rabbi, Priest or Imam or anyone he or she thinks is holy and asks for help. The “guru” says “If you want to see (believe, know) what I see, then do what I do and you will see. A fair parallel would be a recipe. “If you want cake like I have, follow these directions.” I cant describe the taste, I can’t give you my cake, but here’s how you make your own. Moses gave Ten ingredients, Mohammed gave us Sharia Law and Jesus gave us the Beatitudes. They all work; they all change people and help them. Carl Rogers and Milton Erickson and Virginia Satir all helped people enormously, too.
Both approaches work and work well, depending on the skill of the counselor and the wisdom of the spiritual leaders.
The combination of changing BOTH inner feelings and outer behavior is difficult but can be done.  The Enneagram, because it is a descriptions of energy as well as behaviors includes both inner and outer change; that’s part of the reason it is effective.
I read a book (full disclosure, I taught him the Enneagram) by an experienced counselor, Jim Roberts, who uses both inner and outer behaviors by focusing on the mindful use of attention.  He uses the Enneagram without teaching it to the clients or using the terminology.  He has clients focus on feelings and then gives them exercises to educate an alter those feelings that are problematic.  I use some of the exercises.  They work for me.  I’ve given the book to several psychologists and they say it is really effective. The book is called Deliberate Love by Jim Roberts. You can get it at his website: DeliberateLove.com. (Full disclosure again, I have no financial involvement in this) nor does he know I’m writing this).